How Communication Improves Your Sex Life
A satisfying sex life is something that we all desire. The intimacy and connection that comes from physical pleasure is something we all crave. However, society leads us to believe that the key to a satisfying sex life is having sex in exciting new positions from the Kamasutra, having sex in new places, and using sex toys, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
Yes, those things can certainly add some spice to your love life (except the sex toys…those cause more harm than good, but more on that in another blog post)
But they’re not the only ways to improve things. Communication in your relationship is one of the most effective ways of turning your sex life from mundane to extraordinary. And, no, we’re not just talking about the dirty talk (although that can be fun too).
We’re talking about cultivating healthy communication in your relationship to improve your sex life.
Let’s go!!!
So, why is communication so important when it comes to sex? Well, with better communication comes increased closeness, A.K.A., “the feeling of intimacy”. And, as any relationship and marriage therapist will tell you, increased intimacy between a couple leads to better sex.
One way of creating emotional intimacy is by strengthening your communication skills. Communication is usually thought of as merely talking, but it encompasses a range of behaviours. For example, physical touch can be a form of communication. Touching your partner is a way of letting them know you’re there for them or showing them what you need. Another form of communication is “a sigh” or other non-verbal sounds that let your partner know your feelings without actually using words.
Healthy communication is all about listening, validating and responding to your partner. It’s about understanding that everyone has their unique way of communicating and being open to learning how your partner sounds and chooses to communicate depending on the situation or circumstance.
When this sense of emotional intimacy is felt, it increases the chances of you and your partner feeling like you can let your guard down during sex. And, trust me, that’s when things get perfect. Because sex is a vulnerable experience often associated with shame, this is because of societal norms that dictate what we should and shouldn’t get off to, who is worthy of sexual fulfilment and who isn’t, or ideas about sex as a dirty, shameful act.
But, when we feel closer to our romantic partner/spouse, we can let go during sex, and the feelings of shame or guilt will be non-existent. Greater intimacy on a day-to-day basis can also enable communication during sex to flow with greater ease. And showing who you are between the sheets — makes for better sex for both of you.
Now, let’s talk about communicating about sex. When you’ve got the hang of communication in your relationship, the skill tends to spill over into other areas, such as your sex life. Listening to your partner’s sexual needs and wants and communicating your own is one of the best ways to create a sex life you both will enjoy.
I know, I know. Talking about sex can be intimidating. It’s not something that comes naturally to everyone, and the subject can make some people feel a little uneasy. But trust me; it’s worth it. Most couples struggle with talking about sex, which can make them feel a little unsettled.
Sexual communication can feel intimidating and bring up all sorts of ideas in our heads about having to “talk dirty” or be incredibly vocal during sex. Communication about sex is much more than just introducing novelty and experimentation. It’s about forging a strong connection through understanding each other’s desires, needs and boundaries and being open to exploring them together.
It’s about communicating before, during and after sex. It’s about telling your partner what you like and dislike (in a friendly and loving way, of course!). It’s about taking an interest in what your partner desires and validating their wants, even if you don’t share them. It’s about being open and honest with each other and understanding that everyone has different boundaries and preferences.
When you know more about each other’s sexuality and feel more relaxed when discussing sex, it usually leads to a more satisfying sex life. You will no longer have to wonder whether your spouse enjoys what you’re doing or if you’re hitting the right spot. Instead, you can focus on the pleasure and connection of being in sync with your partner sexually.
But communication doesn’t just have to be verbal. Non-verbal communication can also play a huge role in a satisfying sex life with your romantic partner/spouse. Physical touch, sounds, and body language can all be ways of communicating during sex. For example, if you’re unsure about what you want but know that you’re enjoying what your partner is doing, let out a moan or a sigh. It’s a subtle way of letting them know they’re doing something right. Or, if you’re not quite sure where you want to be touched, guide your partner’s hand with yours. It’s a subtle way of communicating your desires without saying a word.
Now, let’s talk about addressing concerns or problems in a sexual relationship. Let’s be honest; sex isn’t always perfect. Sometimes, things don’t work out the way we want them to. But that doesn’t mean that the problem can’t be fixed. The key is to communicate effectively and empathetically. It’s about being honest with each other without being judgmental or playing “the blame game”.
When you address concerns and problems in your sexual relationship, it leads to a more satisfying sex life. The goal is to find a solution that works for you and your partner and be open to trying new things. It’s essential to make communication regular and ongoing between you and your romantic partner. It’s not something that you should only partake in when there’s a problem. Having regular check-ins and discussing your desires, boundaries, and concerns can help prevent issues from arising in the first place. It’s also important to remember that everyone is different. What works for one couple may not work for another. And that’s okay. The key is to find what works for you and your partner and stick to it. And remember, if you’re struggling to communicate or address concerns, don’t be afraid to seek help. Relationship education classes, relationship information sources like this blog, relationship coaching and sex therapy can be incredibly beneficial. And it’s also important to note that communication doesn’t just mean discussing the physical aspects of sex.
It also means discussing your emotional and mental needs in the relationship. It’s about understanding each other’s needs, wants, and desires in all related aspects.
Communicating openly and honestly with your partner about your sexual needs, desires, and concerns can help build trust and intimacy. It allows you to be more vulnerable and authentic with each other, which can lead to deeper emotional and sexual “relations”. It’s also important to remember that communication is not just about talking. It’s about listening, validating and responding to your partner. It’s about understanding that everyone has their way of communicating and being open to learning how your partner chooses to sound.
It’s also important to remember that sexual communication is not just a one-time conversation. It’s an ongoing process that should be revisited and discussed regularly. As our desires, needs, and boundaries change over time, you must continue communicating with your romantic partner to ensure that you’re both on the same page. To foster communication in your sexual relationship, there are a few key things that you can do. Firstly, create a comfortable environment where everyone can openly discuss desires or concerns. This can be as simple as setting aside time each week to discuss your romantic relationship and any issues that may have come up.
Another way to foster communication is to make intimacy a priority. Whether physical or emotional intimacy, it’s essential to make time for each other and connect on a deeper level. This can be done through cuddling, holding hands, or even talking.
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FAQ’s
1.) What are some ways to foster communication in a sexual relationship?
Answer: Creating a comfortable environment where everyone can openly discuss desires or concerns. Make intimacy a priority, talking about sex and discussing desires, preferences, and problems openly and honestly with your partner.
2.) How can communication lead to a better sex life?
Answer: Communication leads to a better sex life by allowing couples to understand each other’s desires and boundaries. It also helps build trust and intimacy and addresses any concerns or problems.
3.) How can improved communication lead to increased closeness and better sex?
Answer: Improved communication increases closeness by strengthening the bond between partners, making it easier for them to communicate about other things in life, and fostering emotional intimacy. This leads to better sex as partners feel more comfortable being vulnerable and authentic.
4.) How can non-verbal communication play a role in a satisfying sex life?
Answer: Non-verbal communication, such as physical touch, sounds, and body language, can communicate desires and preferences during sex without using words. It can also be used to express enjoyment and pleasure.
5.) How can addressing concerns or problems in a sexual relationship lead to a more satisfying sex life?
Answer: It leads to a more satisfying sex life by finding solutions that work for both partners and being open to trying new things. It also helps to build trust and intimacy.
6.) What is the importance of making communication a priority in a sexual relationship?
Answer: It allows couples to understand each other’s desires and boundaries, build trust and intimacy, and address any concerns or problems.
7.) How can relationship education classes and sex therapy be beneficial in addressing communication issues in a sexual relationship?
Answer: It provides couples with tools and techniques to improve communication, address concerns or problems, and foster intimacy and trust.
8.) How can emotional and mental needs be communicated in a sexual relationship?
Answer: Emotional and mental needs can be communicated in a sexual relationship by having regular check-ins with your partner and discussing your emotional and mental conditions.
9.) How can emotional and mental needs be addressed in a sexual relationship?
Answer: This is addressed by understanding each other’s emotional and mental conditions, being empathetic and supportive, and addressing any concerns or problems.
10.) How can societal norms and shame be addressed in a sexual relationship?
Answer: Societal norms and shame can be addressed in a sexual relationship by fostering intimacy and trust. This can be achieved by being open and honest with each other and letting go of societal norms and guilt.
Thank you for your time.
Your choice to spend time with me this week means a lot and I do not take it for granted.
Until next time!!!
