M.E.R.R.Y C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S

Chike Oranye
4 min readDec 22, 2023

Like I said yesterday, the season of Christmas, for us in the business of relationships, is known as “the season of break-ups.” A.K.A “El asesino de relaciones” meaning “The relationship killer”.

Because I deeply care about everyone in this community, I would hate any of you currently in a healthy romantic relationship or marriage to start the new year single.

That would suck. So here’s what I propose…

M — Master Your Communication
Authenticity, effective listening, and conveying your thoughts respectfully and lovingly are core elements in the glue that will help keep your relationship with your romantic partner intact this season.

E — Embrace Vulnerability
Yeah, sounds cliché I know but seriously, drop the armour. Let your guard down, be real, and let your partner in. Vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s the birthplace of genuine intimacy with your significant other.

R — Relinquish Control
In my opinion, there are only two types of people who want/crave control. Tyrants and people whose lives are spiralling out of control. If you’re neither of the two people I just mentioned, learn to let go of the need to control every situation. If your partner wants a ribbon on top of the Christmas tree instead of a star, compromise and allow them to have it. not everything has to go your way.

R — Resilience is Key
Relationships can be tough, especially when you add in all the stuff that will start happening around you this season. Think about it — you’re in the season where you start looking back at the year, feeling like you didn’t achieve your goals while simultaneously seeing others succeed, and dealing with the complex relationships you have with your family and friends. On top of that, you’ve got your relationship to handle, trying not to let out any pent-up frustration.
It’s like being in a room full of gas, waiting for a spark. Yep, storms that seek to negatively impact or affect your romantic relationship or marriage with your partner might arise this season, but you have to face them head-on with wisdom and grit. The only way out of a storm is through it.
And remember, being resilient is not just about bouncing back, but bouncing forward.

Y — Yearn for Connection
In the chaos that may arise this season in your life, don’t forget why you fell in love and remained in love throughout the year in the first place. Prioritize connection with your romantic partner. Yes, I know it’s the Christmas season, but it doesn’t mean you cannot go on date nights, engage in rituals of connection, or just have a lazy couch, ice cream and cookies morning. Make time for the two of you.

C — Cultivate Gratitude
Shift your focus from what’s lacking in your romantic relationship to what’s abundant. Express gratitude for the little things. A thank-you goes a long way. Remember, you chose each other for a reason.

H — Hush the Negativity
Cut the drama. Not every battle is worth fighting. Choose your battles wisely, and sometimes, just let things slide. Create an environment where positivity thrives this Christmas season.

R — Revel in Intimacy
Intimacy isn’t just about physical closeness A.K.A sexual intercourse — even though it’s part of it. It’s about being emotionally, experientially, spiritually, intellectually/mentally and physically connected. So nurture these other aspects of your bond with your romantic partner while simultaneously getting freaky in the sheets with them.

I — Inject Fun
Life’s too short to be serious all the time and the Christmas season is even shorter. Be silly, crack jokes, create inside jokes, and make each other’s company as memorable as possible this season. Laughter is a powerful medicine and it does wonders for all romantic relationships.

S — Savor the Silence
Not every moment this season needs to be filled with words. Sometimes, just sitting together in comfortable silence speaks volumes. Appreciate the quiet moments as much as the loud ones this Christmas.

T — Team Mentality
You’re a team, not opponents. When challenges arise, tackle them together. Remember, it’s both of you against the problem, not against each other.

M — Mutual Respect
Respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship and it is even more important during this season. Treat each other with kindness, courtesy, and consideration at all times especially when family members and friends are around. It’s the small acts of respect that make the big difference.

A — Appreciate Uniqueness
Celebrate each others’ unique qualities! You’re each your “own” person, and that’s awesome. Embrace the little quirks and individual ways you both do things. It’s what makes your relationship special and one-of-a-kind.

S — Set Boundaries
Know when to say no. Establish clear boundaries to protect your relationship. It’s not about restriction; it’s about creating a safe space for you and your romantic partner to thrive this season.

And there you have it.

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Chike Oranye

I teach the unspoken laws & principles that guide healthy romantic relationships and marriages.