The Bitter Truth: Why Men Get Friendzoned By Women

Allow me to start this post with a word waffle conjured up at the spur of the moment by yours truly;

The saying goes thus;

He that acteth friendly shall be treated as a friend by their actions. He that acteth like a player, shall by their actions be treated with the same awe as the goat…Micheal Jordan, but he that acteth like a pimp shall have the streets and all its sticky, disease-filled glory — Chike Oranye

Now I know some of you may be wondering…what? what the fuck did I just read? what the fuck does this mean?

Well, I will tell you, when I know. I just typed out the first thing my brain thought of and I’m way too restless and tired to run a final check on this. So, today’s newsletter is another attempt at me doing this “in one take” 😤.

Anyhoo…the friend zone, The. Place. Where. Love. Goes. To. Die.

For decades women have placed men from all walks of life in this zone. It does not matter how tall, dark, handsome, ugly, successful or unsuccessful you are if they deem it fit, by deeming you “unworthy” they’d open a portal and place you in this abyss.

Today’s edition was inspired by a coaching call I had with a client whose name is Mr John Jacobs Jingle Hymer Smidtch.

Yes! for real, that is his name.

He seemed like an okay guy with an excellent knowledge base and taste in hip-hop. His favourite artist was Mobb Deep. My guy was obsessed with “shook ones” 😂.

P.S. I know this because I am good at my job. Some even call me part of the 1% of the 1% of coaches in the world

Anyway, he is into the snow collection business, travels worldwide and “makes” a killing during the Christmas season.

Mr John Jacob’s problem was that he often found himself in the “friend zone’“ with people he liked romantically. He wanted to know why this kept happening and how to avoid it in the future.

After the coaching sessions with me and some “in the real world” practice, he left as a confident new man with the exact blueprint on how to avoid being placed in “the friend zone” by his romantic prospects in the foreseeable future.

After a moderate time skip, he met a girl he liked and started a relationship. Fast forward 1 year later I heard they were engaged.

Only for the girl to call the engagement off 3 months before their wedding.

So, it turns out Mr John Jacobs Jingle Hymer Smidtch got so good at talking himself away from the friend zone, that he went awol and became an underground hoe/mini pimp. He had cheated multiple times during their relationship spell and had gotten 3 women pregnant.

So apparently, the snow collection business wasn’t actually…real snow

This man was a drug dealer. I’m talking Sunny from Top Boy, Pablo Escobar-type shit! He was on the run from the authorities and rival drug gangs.

The heat got too from both sides and his 3 pregnant side pieces he fled his country not long after.

Last I heard he still travels around the globe once a year on a sleigh being pulled by 8 reindeer with the song “shook ones” by Mobb Deep playing loudly from it, leaving snow in boxes for adults who hate Christmas.

In case you still haven’t caught on, I’m fucking with you.

We’ve spent quite a bit of time here. Now, here are eight reasons I can think of, drawing from my extensive knowledge and experience, explaining why women might place men in the friend zone.

P.S. I am a world-class relationship coach who is part of the 1% of the 1% globally 😌.

MY THOUGHTS 🧠

Ordinarily, I’d use the “root cause” technique here, but this particular issue is very subjective and complex. It involves the woman’s feelings, preferences for a romantic partner, and the dynamics between the both of you. So in this segment, I’d be giving you the reasons I think you might be in the abyss we all know as the friend zone.

1.) She’s a hoe

Before the women and some men come for me after reading this to place me under the guillotine…

No, I’m not saying only women can be hoes,

Yes, men can and are hoes too. Yes, I call men hoes when they act like hoes,

No, this isn’t me bashing women,

No, I am not a woman hater,

Yes, I love women, Yes, I love my mom too and she loves me.

Now we’ve gotten all that out of the way,

A woman who is in her “hoe phase” and does not want to be tied down currently will place you in the friend zone for keeps if she knows you are a good guy and future “boyfriend/husband material.

A bird in hand is worth two in the bush after all.

2.) You’re a hoe
You see! I say it as I see it! I’m an equal-opportunity hoe caller

If as a man, you’re a hoe, and you know you’re a hoe, and you know she knows you know you’re a hoe, why are you surprised she placed you in an area where you’d not be able to toy with her heart? Make it make sense.

A woman who actually does not see you as a bad person per se but a walking hazard romantically will automatically sift you out of the prospective mates she’s considering as a partner for her peace of mind and your friendship.

3.) You’re a perfect rebound guy for her
Hello, bootleg Pete Davidson,

So, from my experience, some women know who their next romantic partner is while dating.

They then keep the guy as a friend, giving him some attention to make sure he stays in the background and doesn’t start dating someone else.

If you’re mad, don’t be. All is fair in love and war.

4.) You’re not her type
If she’s not into you or you’re not her type, it means she’s not interested in you in any way romantically. It could be because of how you look, how you think, or how you connect emotionally or spiritually.

For some reason, you just don’t fit what she’s looking for romantically.

So she keeps you in the friend zone because she does not know how to tell you upfront she does not like you, or she likes just being friends with you because you may not be a bad person.

A clear sign that you’re in the second situation is if she suggests you to her friends or other attractive women and genuinely supports you as a friend.

If this sounds like your situation, there’s a silver lining. Women are fantastic wingmen. I’m not joking. They have a special knack for spotting unusual or troublesome people from a distance, thanks to their natural spidey senses called “a woman’s intuition”.

They’re also great at hyping you up making you seem like the perfect match for the people you’re interested in. Believe me, it’s a gift from the heavens! Do not squander it.

In conclusion to this already heavily stressed point;

If she tells you she would love to date someone like you, she means she wants to date someone who has your personality, but is just better looking.

5.) She’s confused
When a woman is unsure about her romantic feelings or is feeling uncertain about pursuing a romantic relationship with a man A.K.A you, she might opt to keep your relationship as a “simple friendship”. This way, she maintains a comfortable, non-romantic bond.

This will continue until she gets her shit together and figures out her feelings.

6.) She likes you and wants you to make the first move

This sounds counterproductive I know, but trust me, it isn’t. From my experience, women do this for the following reasons;
-She’s worried about being rejected and prefers a safe friendship. Women suck at handling rejection.
-She wants you to make the first move to confirm your interest.
-She believes it is the man’s job to initiate the relationship. (she is not wrong).
-Previous heartbreak or horrible experiences from her past relationships are making her cautious.

So, what now?

THE GAMEPLAN 🎯

First things first! I know you’re thinking, how do I get out of the friend zone? So I’ll tell you for free. Anything other than the 6th reason I gave is hopeless. Do not even try. It would be disrespectful to the lady, her boundaries and to your pride and value as a man. Why would you want someone who does not want you nor considers you adequate as a first option?

Is that the kind of love you think you deserve? really?

It’s best you moved on. Love is a two-way street. It takes two people to move a couch effectively and efficiently.

Now we’ve gotten that out of the way, I want you to know, that as a man. there are no foolproof methods to ensure you won’t end up in the friendzone. NONE.

But here’s what might help you get to the right person for you faster;

Be Yourself: Authenticity is key. Don’t try to be someone you’re not just to win someone’s affection. Be genuine and let your true self shine through.

Clear Communication: Be open and honest about your feelings. If you have a romantic interest, it’s important to communicate it, but do so in a respectful and non-pressuring way. Let them know you value the friendship, but you also have deeper feelings.

Respect Their Feelings: If the other person doesn’t share your romantic feelings, respect their decision. Don’t pressure them or make them feel guilty. It’s their choice to make.

Maintain Boundaries: It’s important to respect personal boundaries. yours and theirs. If they are not interested in a romantic relationship, avoid behaviours that may make them uncomfortable or send mixed signals.

Expand Your Social Circle: A lack of options causes you to pedestalise people. Continue to meet new people and engage in other activities. Expanding your social circle can make you less focused on one particular person and potentially open up new romantic opportunities.

Self-Improvement: Focus on self-improvement, both physically, mentally, spiritually, socially and emotionally. Being the best version of yourself can make you more attractive to others like you.

Friendship First: If you’re already friends, emphasize the importance of the friendship first. As I’ve always stressed, strong friendships serve as a solid foundation for romantic relationships and marriages. Plus, they are fulfilling in their own right.